Tomas: Cowboy Homecoming Page 11

  “Damn, what a ride,” Colt said.

  “I think you mean a no-ride,” Tuf corrected him.

  “I better get Midnight settled down before it’s my time to ride.”

  Tuf continued to take care of the animals in the chute. Colt had a good saddle-bronc ride and he’d place in the money. When barrel racers came on, Tuf watched for a moment and remembered Cheyenne. He’d been forcing himself not to think of her, but suddenly he could see her racing into the arena on Jewel and flying around the barrels in graceful movements. No one rode a horse like Cheyenne. He took a deep breath and forced those thoughts away. They would haunt him later, though.

  It was almost midnight when they made their way to the trailer. They were bone-tired, but Colt and Beau had a spring in their steps because they’d earned some money for Thunder Ranch. His brother and cousin were talking to their wives so he took a quick shower and crawled into bed. He paused for a moment and thought of calling Cheyenne, but it was late and he wasn’t sure what to say to her now.

  Was he always going to be trapped in that war?

  * * *

  TUF LAY STARING INTO the semidarkness. Colt and Beau were in the kitchen area, still talking to their wives. The light from the sink spilled across the bed, but it didn’t bother him. He welcomed it. If he closed his eyes and fell asleep, he was afraid the nightmare would return. The only way to ward it off was to stay awake. And that was crazy. His counselor had said he had something deep-seated in him that he didn’t want to face. He’d gone over every horrible moment of his stint in the marines, and he still didn’t know what it was.

  He flipped onto his side, intending to stay awake as long as he could. He didn’t want to subject Colt and Beau to a repeat of last night. And he never wanted Cheyenne to see a glimpse of his hell. What were his options? Not many. He’d have to stop seeing her. A new kind of pain twisted his gut. Everything he’d ever wanted was just out of his reach.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING THEY were up early to load their stock and make the long trip home. Tuf’s plan of staying awake hadn’t worked. He’d been too tired. The next thing he knew, dawn had arrived, peeping in at a new day. After a quick breakfast, they loaded the stock and prepared to leave Bozeman. They stopped for gas and then rolled onto the U.S. 191 and headed for home.

  After almost four hours, they turned the trucks onto Thunder Road. Tuf parked the Airstream in its spot, and Colt backed the cattle carrier to the chute. Once Midnight was unloaded and in his paddock, Colt turned to Tuf.

  “Can you handle it? I want to see Leah.”

  “Go.” He waved a hand. “You, too, Beau. I got it.”

  He didn’t have to tell them twice. Colt grabbed the zipped leather bag with the money and paperwork and dashed to the office to leave it in the safe. A few minutes later, Tuf saw him sprinting across the yard to his double-wide. Beau had disappeared faster than he could blink. Evidently, the honeymoon wasn’t over.

  After unloading, he parked the cattle carrier in its spot. He then fed the animals and made his way to the house. He heard voices in the backyard and went there. His mom sat in a redwood recliner, watching Jill and Davey playing in the yard with a ball.

  “Tomas, you’re back.” His mom smiled.

  He kissed her forehead and sat in a chair beside her.

  She turned to face him. “I saw Cheyenne and her girls in church this morning.”

  His stomach tightened.

  “When Cheyenne told them I was your mother, well, one of them, I can’t tell them apart, was Tuf this and Tuf that. Soon the other twin joined in. They’re waiting for you to come home to show you how good they’re riding.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be over there?”

  Clasping his hands between his knees, he didn’t respond.

  He could feel his mom’s eyes on him. “Tomas, do not disappoint those little girls.”

  He stood to make a quick getaway.

  “Tomas Hart.” She stopped him in his tracks. “What’s wrong with you?”

  He took a deep breath. “I have a lot to sort out. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Tomas…”

  He didn’t turn back. He was running—running scared. Coward echoed through his mind. He never thought of himself as a coward. Placing his hand over his left jeans pocket, he traced the shape of the Silver Star. He wasn’t a coward.

  But he sure felt like one.

  Chapter Eleven

  Cheyenne kept glancing at her watch. Almost five. Why hadn’t Tuf called or come by? She’d been waiting since she’d seen the cattle carrier and Airstream trailer go by. And the girls kept asking when Tuf was coming. She’d run out of things to tell them. “He’s working and has a lot to do” was beginning to sound flimsy. The girls were sitting on the front porch in their boots, jeans and cowgirl hats. What if Tuf didn’t come? What was she going to tell them then?

  Feeling anxious, she put down the necklace she was working on. She was making a mess of it. The turquoise stones were expensive and deserved her full attention. She placed them in a tray and stored them in her workbox. She’d finish it later.

  Tucking her hair behind her ears, she took a long breath. It hadn’t been easy to open her heart again. And to another marine, at that, but she felt a connection to Tuf. It was real, as real as anything she’d ever felt. He was kind, patient, understanding and cared about her girls. That was real, too. Before she’d known it, she was taking steps toward him instead of away like her mind had dictated. She’d been burned badly, so why was she exposing her emotions once again to the fire?

  She gathered her jewelry-making supplies and took them to her room. They’d had a wonderful conversation on Friday night so she didn’t understand his silence today. Something had to have happened. But what? She was tired of trying to figure it out. She’d take the girls to get ice cream or a hamburger or both to get their minds off Tuf. As she placed her box in an old armoire in her room, she heard the girls screech.

  They must have spotted a bug. She ran to the front door, preparing to be the bug slayer, but stopped short in the doorway. Tuf stood there with Sadie in one arm and Sammie in the other. He’s here. Her heart thumped against her ribs in excitement. She grabbed her jacket, slipped into it and stepped outside.

  The girls chattered away. When they saw Cheyenne, they squirmed to be let down. Sadie asked, “Mommy, how long is five minutes?”

  She understood the question. How long to tell Tuf to wait before coming to the barn to watch them ride. They wanted to get ready.

  “Oh, a long time.”

  “Good.” Sadie looked up at Tuf. “Five minutes and then come watch us.”

  “You got it, munchkin.”

  Sadie took Sammie’s hand and walked down the steps and headed for the barn. Cheyenne reached for her cell in her pocket and called her dad. “The girls are almost there.” She clicked off and stared into Tuf’s dark eyes. He looked tired…and sad. Something had happened.

  “Could we talk for a minute?” he asked.

  “Sure.” He sat on the step and she sat beside him, preparing herself for his next words.

  He clasped his hands between his knees. “I could have come over earlier but…I think it’s best if I don’t see you anymore.”

  Her stomach cramped with an old, familiar pain. Ryan had never given her a chance to help him. He’d always pushed her away.

  She faced him and wavered at the pain she saw there. “What happened? Just tell me.”

  He looked at his clasped hands and he seemed to grip them tighter. “I haven’t had a nightmare in six months and I thought I was past that, but while in Bozeman, I had a bad one. Colt said I was screaming and thrashing about. He and Beau were holding me down when I woke up.”

  Unable to stop herself, she placed her hand on the arm beneath his denim jacket. His muscles were rigid, tight. “I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want you to see me like that. You went through hell with Ryan.”

  He was trying to protect her,
and for a moment she couldn’t speak. Ryan never opened up like this or ever gave her a chance to help him. Tuf was different. She sensed it.

  “Did you hit Colt or Beau?”

  “What?” He blinked in confusion. “I don’t think I did. They didn’t say. I just wanted to run until I couldn’t feel that pain anymore.”

  “Ryan was the opposite. He’d become violent, throwing and breaking things. When I would try to calm him, he’d hit me and then leave the house and go to a bar and drink. The next day he’d apologize, but it happened over and over again. I stayed because I knew he couldn’t control what was happening to him, but as the girls got older, I knew I’d have to go because he was starting to get angry at them.” She took a burning breath. “I don’t think you’re like that. I’ve known you all my life and I’ve never seen you do a violent thing, except ride bucking horses.”

  “Cheyenne…”

  She heard the entreaty in his voice. “What’s really bothering you?”

  He looked down at her hand still on his sleeve. “I don’t want to hurt you in any way. And I’m afraid I will.”

  “Tuf…”

  “You’ve been through enough.”

  So have you.

  His inner turmoil was a tangible thing. He was trying hard to live again, but the war kept pulling him back. She ached to help him. How? She couldn’t help Ryan, so how could she help him? A sense of inadequacy swept over her.

  He got to his feet. “I’ll take a rain check on our date.”

  She stood, too, and a chill ran through her. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she said, “Maybe that’s best.”

  Without another word, he swung toward his truck.

  “Tuf.”

  He turned around.

  “The girls are waiting for you. Please don’t disappoint them.”

  They made their way to the barn, and the girls happily showed off on their horses. Her dad had spray painted the barrels bright yellow, and they slowly made the figure eight around them. Afterward, Tuf walked away to his truck.

  This time, she knew he wouldn’t be coming back.

  * * *

  THE NEXT DAY AFTER HIS RUN, Tuf quickly showered and changed into jeans and a Western shirt. He hadn’t stopped at the Wright house. Not that he didn’t want to. It would only hurt her more. Snapping the light blue chambray, he paused. Cheyenne had helped picked out the shirt. Maybe then they’d both known their lives would reconnect. The odds were against them, though. He was a mess. She was a mess. And there didn’t seem to be a way around all the baggage they carried. It was best to end it now before their hearts were involved. He wasn’t so sure that his wasn’t already fully committed.

  Strolling across the yard, he noticed Ace’s, Colt’s, Beau’s, Duke’s and Uncle Josh’s trucks parked at his mom’s office. It wasn’t even seven yet. Something was up.

  As he walked in, Colt said, “Finally, Tuf’s here. We can start the meeting?”

  His mom sat at her desk with Uncle Josh on her right and Ace on her left. The others were standing around the coffee machine.

  Tuf made a face at his brother. “I wouldn’t have run if I’d known y’all were going to be here this early.”

  “Hmm.” Duke gave a lopsided grin. “I saw you outside Cheyenne Sundell’s driveway.”

  He hadn’t even noticed the headlights. He must have been really distracted. “I just stopped for a second.” It was one of those moments he didn’t want to admit to. He wanted to see her, but knew it was best if he just kept running.

  “You seeing Cheyenne this early in the morning?” Colt asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  “Stop teasing your brother,” his mother broke in. “He has a lot more muscle now, and I’m too old to be breaking up fights.”

  “Ah, Mom, we don’t fight anymore,” Colt told her. “We just bait each other. Ace is best at it. He uses a verbal cattle prod to keep us in line.”

  “Someone has to,” Ace said out of the corner of his mouth.

  “See.” Colt pointed a finger at his brother, laughing.

  Their mother gave them a look that was as quelling as any words she could have spoken. The room became quiet and they pulled up folding chairs to sit around the desk. Sarah slipped on her reading glasses and shuffled through the papers in front of her.

  “I spoke with Dinah and she said whatever we decide is fine with her. She has her hands full with the sheriff’s job and her pregnancy.” She laid her glasses on top of the papers. “Leah and I have gone over the books, and we’re still not making ends meet. The economy is killing us. The price of feed and gas continues to rise. We have a balloon payment coming due on our note June first, and we’re ten thousand short even with the money Tomas deposited into the ranch account. That’s the bottom line. I really thought we could make a success of the contracting business, but all our problems with Midnight have sorely hurt us.”

  She leaned back in her chair, and Tuf thought how worried and tired she looked. “I’m not sure what to do now. I’ve thought about this for days, and the only option I see is to sell the three thousand acres we lease and all our cattle and rodeo stock. We could pay off the note, and everyone could start over with decent nine-to-five jobs. And, Ace, your vet business would be safe and unencumbered by ranch debt.”

  Stunned silence filled the room. No one knew what to say or do. Sarah Hart wasn’t a quitter, but it felt as if she held a grenade in her hand and was about to pull the pin to end all their dreams.

  Colt leaped to his feet. “Hell, no. I’ve worked too hard for too long for it to end like this.”

  “Aunt Sarah,” Beau spoke up, “Tuf and I are set to rodeo, and Colt will be catching every rodeo close to home. If we can’t earn ten thousand by June, then we’re not fit to be called cowboys.”

  Duke got to his feet. “Aunt Sarah, I’ll continue to help transport stock in my off time and help all I can around here.”

  “Sarah.” Uncle Josh put his arm around his sister. “What’s going on with you? I want to spend more time with Jordan, but I don’t plan to abandon my duties to Thunder Ranch.”

  “Yeah, Mom, are you not feeling well?” Ace looked closely at their mother.

  “I feel fine.” She glanced at family photos hanging on the wall. “I’m just feeling a little melancholy.” Her eyes swung to a family picture on her desk. “None of you know what day it is, do you?”

  That only confused them further.

  “It’s John’s and my fortieth wedding anniversary. We were so young when we got married and money was tight. Land was cheap back then and we saved to buy our own place. Every extra dollar went to buy more land. We lived in a small trailer and survived on beans and rice. It was a struggle but we did it. Cattle prices were good and we started to make money. When I became pregnant, we decided to build the house we wanted. We brought Aidan home to the new house.” She paused for a second. “I can’t help thinking that I’m back where I started—struggling. I want better for my kids and nephews, so I decided to give you boys a choice. That’s what this is about.”

  Tuf rose to his feet. “No choice, Mom. We’re the Harts and the Adams, and we’re not looking for a way out. We’re in this for the long haul. I know I didn’t do too good in Bozeman, but like Dad used to say, ‘You get bucked off, you pick yourself up and do better next time.’ That’s what I plan to do, so stop worrying. If worse comes to worst, I’ll sell my truck. But I don’t think I’ll have to do that. As you know, Midnight did very well at the rodeo.”

  “That’s a small thing, son. The horse could get hurt as he has before.”

  “Have you seen how Colt takes care of that horse? He treats it like one of his kids. And Cory Kinney, an experienced cowboy who made it to nationals last year, couldn’t stay on after the first buck. That’s going to spread around the circuit, and cowboys are going to want to test their skill on the horse. Midnight will gain attention, and Thunder Ranch will gain more rodeo contracts and breeding fees. It’s not the ending, Mom. It’s the beg
inning.”

  “I agree with Tuf.” Ace stood. “I know I was worried about Midnight being injured, but Colt has proven he can control the horse. I don’t think there’s a need for a vote. You know how we all feel, but you have the right to outvote us. What’s it going to be?”

  For the first time, a smile spread across his mom’s face. “I say I got the answer I really wanted. You boys have turned into fine young men and I’m proud of you.” She got to her feet. “Flynn is helping Aidan today and I’m playing Grandma.” The worry in her blue eyes vanished.

  Uncle Josh followed her to the door. “I’ll bring Jordan over. She loves babies.”

  Ace moved to the computer. “We have to figure out what we have to do to ease Mom’s mind.”

  “Let’s check rodeo schedules and see where we can make the most money,” Tuf suggested.

  For the next thirty minutes, they debated rodeos. “Right now the best money is down south, mainly Texas,” Colt said.

  Ace pondered this. “Tuf and Beau, you can head south. Colt can rodeo here in Montana, South and North Dakota, and Wyoming. That’s closer to home. How does that sound?”

  “Like a plan,” Colt said, “but my rodeo time is limited because of Midnight. The more we get him out there, the more his reputation is going to grow.”

  “Yeah, we have to consider that, too.” Ace pondered some more. “When Midnight bucks, I want you there.”

  “I plan to be.” Colt nodded.

  “Okay. The goal is to make as much money as possible.”

  “We got it,” Tuf said, and he and Beau spent time on the computer planning their schedule.

  Later he helped with the broncs and the bulls. Then he checked on the cows. When he returned to the house, his mom was playing with Emma, smiling. She was so different than she was this morning. The worry had been lifted from her shoulders. He would make every rodeo he could to earn money to ease her mind. And to make up for all the years he wasn’t here.